I know exactly what drove me to this state. I ALWAYS get nervous after I finish a big project, performance, submission, etc. I am supremely fearful of being criticized, even when I know I have done a good job. Part of is that people have such high expectations of me that I get nervous when I feel I might not achieve those expectations. I typically take criticism really well, but sometimes I dwell too long on the negative. Sigh...I'm working on it.
Anyway, because I was in this state, I decided to go to the grocery store for a "treat." Yeah, that didn't work so well because I am a COMPULSIVE LABEL CHECKER. OMG, the first store I walked in, I know the associates probably thought I was crazy. I picked up "veggie chips," put them down. Picked up "dark chocolate truffles," put them down. Picked up popcorn, put it down. In my mind, I just COULD NOT justify ingesting this horrible food. Even worse, when the list of ingredients was 30 items long, I threw up a little in my mouth. Needless to say, I left this store just the way I came--with nothing.
The next grocery store, again I tried to find a "treat." Because I now refuse to go down the inner aisles of grocery stores (only for Almond Milk when I buy the shelf stable version), I decided I would try to find a "treat" from the perimeter of the store. Yeah right. The first item I picked up was a meatless (was a meat substitute), so-called "green meal" for one. I forget the brand or even what it was really. What I remember is that one serving of this meatless, green meal for one had 50 FIFTY 5-0 grams of carbohydrates!!!! OMG And these carbohydrates weren't because this meal for one was packed with leafy greens. No, this thing was no bigger than an 8oz bottle of h2o, yet it contained all of those carbs. NEXT! Ok, so I wander over to the pre-made salad section. You would think these would be an ok choice. WRONG! These salads were loaded with FAT. Even if you chose to skip the dressing (which, I give them credit, was in a separate container), upwards of 15-20 grams of fat in each salad. Too much for me.
So, I end up in the bakery section--maybe I'll have a cookie or a donut. NOT. They just weren't appetizing.
People in this second store must have thought, "she has a huge chip on her shoulder" because after a while I had a scowl on my face. What grocery stores sell these days is so horrible and to think, not too long ago, I would buy this stuff and EAT IT. I am not trying to be a food snob or judge anyone for food choices they make, but I do know this, most people are not scrutinizing labels and are ingesting horrible, processed, manufactured, genetically engineered CRAP!
From that store I ended up buying one red pepper, an avocado, some low sodium deli sliced turkey breast, and three packs of trident sugar free gum [I do have a fruity gum addiction :-( and it was on sale].
Ok, so after I left the grocery store my desire to meet up with disaster still wasn't quenched. I thought, hmmm, I haven't had Harold's Fried Chicken in a long time...LOL Well, good thing a woman and her daugther approached me asking me for spare change! I gave her all of the cash I had in my wallet. (Don't think I'm a saint, it wasn't that much and I apologized because I felt it was so little.) Anyway, Harold's only accepts cash and I was too lazy to go to an ATM. (Even though, in hindsight, my bank was only two doors down from where the lady stopped me...Go figure. Disaster wasn't just two steps ahead, it was in an entirely different zip code.) So, my last attempt to court disaster was a disaster!
Point of the story, really, is that I really wish our grocery stores had better options. I wish everything wasn't processed beyond recognition. I wish people weren't forced to buy this crap because its cheap. I wish chicken was truly chicken and that there were no hidden surprises. I wish....
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