Thursday, February 10, 2011

Day 2 Update! And, the transformative power of "living in the Yellow"

Summer 2010, California.
ONLY TWO DAYS UNTIL THE PHOTO SHOOT!

Exercise:
Boot Camp (50 minutes)
Leg and Glutes (25 minutes)

Eating:
5:30am Strawberry Protein Smoothie
8:00am Shrimp and Veggies
10:30am Chicken Breast w/ Spring Mix, grape tomatoes and 1 tbsp balsamic vinaigrette
1:00pm Strawberry Protein Smoothie
4:00pm Greek Yogurt and Strawberries
6:00pm Shrimp and Veggies


Drinking:
96oz h2o
2 cups almond milk

For the past almost 30 days, many of you have been "meeting me in the yellow."  You've been visiting my blog and reading what I have to say as I been on my current journey, which happens to be centered on my health. However, some of you have no idea about the origin of my yellow space

Well, I started this blog nearly two years ago, after my 27th birthday.  The summer prior to my birthday, I had decided "yellow" was going to be my color for the summer.  As as a result, I proceeded to wear yellow or accessorize with yellow for the entire summer.  Something about the brightness and beauty of the color yellow was appealing to me and I thought if I wore the color, I would somehow internalize and reflect this brightness and beauty.  Wearing the color yellow was a means by which I challenged myself to "live in the yellow."  Check out one of my first blog posts on what I mean about "living in the yellow."

Well, its been nearly two years and the concept of "living in the yellow" still resonates with me.  When I live fully in the yellow, I am open, bright, giving, loving, accepting and completely full.  I am not without problems or worries or stresses, but living in this open, bright space allows me the clarity to develop solutions to my problems as well as the courage to ask for help/advice when I need to do so.  Also, "living in the yellow" gives me courage to put myself out there when I would normally and naturally prefer not to do so. 

Anyway, for the most part, the process and decision to "live in the yellow" has mostly been an internal one.  Until now.  Today, I experienced what "living in the yellow" is really all about.

Earlier, I received a call from my trainer, who also happens to be the owner of the fitness facility where I work out.  She called to let me know that on Wednesday, she had arrived to the gym, not really feeling enthused about what she had to do--everyone has one of those days, even when you absolutely love what you do.  However, my face was the first face she saw.  And, when she saw the bright happy smile on my face, it gave her what she needed to face her day.  It turned her entire perspective around.  If anyone knows me, you know I am always smiling.  In fact, the doormen in my building constantly ask me, "why are you always smiling?"  I always say something to the effect of "because I have no reason not to and every reason to."  Anyway,  my trainer also mentioned that what she in my face wasn't just a smile and happiness to be up at 5:55am to workout (or weight loss), she saw something else there.  Something, she couldn't describe, but that just emanated from me.   What she saw was powerful enough to transform her entire outlook that day.

This blew me away.  Over these past few days, weeks, and months, I have felt like I have been in my own little world.  I have been careful to treat people with kindness, to engage people, make eye contact with people, and generally just be positive.  I was doing these things, not on purpose, but because the joy I have inside is uncontainable (and because I lack human interaction most days beside going to the gym...lol).  I wasn't really thinking about the impact of my actions.  However, it seems that my conscious and consistent decision to approach life in this way has a substantial impact on people. 

While my weight loss journey has been life-changing for me, what my trainer saw and felt emanating from me was not a result of weight loss.  It was a result of my "living in the yellow."  I feel now, more than ever, that my decision to embrace this "yellow space" has transformed my life.  Little by little, "the yellow" has permeated my life and, it seems, exposed my entire being to the brightness and beauty of this state of being.  Now, I have to be honest, being exposed is not all fun and games.  However, in the periods when I have exposed myself, I have been accepted, loved, and become a better person for it.

So, today, I was blessed.  I realized that though I embarked on this journey to "live in the yellow" out of selfishness, (I wanted to improve my own state of being), living in the yellow requires selflessness.

And, this selflessness is not an exhausting, depleting type of selflessness, its one where you realize that being your best and natural self just might transform someone else's life, outlook, perspective as well as move them from despair to hope, from dark to light, and from lacking color to possessing and experiencing the transformative power of the yellow!  Knowing this, you don't withhold your self, you give completely, realizing that you will be refreshed and rejuvenated by living life in the yellow.

Today, I experienced a renewing of my spirit, simply because some of the yellow was reflected back on me.  How wonderful that was!  There are only a couple of days until the photo shoot and until I see friends and loved ones whom I have not seen in a long time.  This has made me a tad nervous and unsettled.  However, keeping myself in the yellow is calming me and will help me to face the nervousness I feel.

Thanks for joining me here. :)

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